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The tighter the better!

17/10/2009

cinch-50s-tnHmm… long time no post… things have been moving very slowly for me – probably because my band wasn’t tight enough… and then school holidays happened and I pigged out on ‘slider’ foods with the kids – damn that chocolate & icecream!

Anyways… had a fill last week and had 2ml put in, so think I’m up to 7ml in an 11ml band — I actually felt it tighten this time…. and I can no longer eat much! woohoo!!  I also now have an issue with iron – well, more-so than before… evidently my red cells aren’t creating enough iron – so to avoid an iron transfusion (Dr Harsha’s choice) I am frantically taking everything full of iron, supplements, spinach… nails… hahahaha

This last fill has been an interesting experience and I think that this is what it should have been like from the get-go. I am filled up very quickly and can survive on very little.  Most mornings I have my optifast breakfast – am so not a breakfast person, so this is nice and easy for me… Yesterday I adventured to cornflakes… 4 spoonfuls and 1 strawberry later I couldn’t fit any more in… and this morning fried and egg & toast… well, that all just came back – what I could manage to get down… Harsha  scheduled me for another fill this coming Thursday but will definitely cancel as I know that the band, if anything, it is too tight… but I’m happy to have it this way until xmas… I really really need this to help me cut back on my eating ability. We’re going away on Dec 10 and I think I will leave it as it is until the week before we go… probably just have the last 2ml taken back out for comfort sake more than the need for extra room for scoffing on holidays!

Anyways… I’ve started recording what I eat as it is quite astounding for me to need so little…

B/fast: Optifast drink
snack: tea or coffee (not always have this)
lunch: 100ml yoghurt + banana (takes me about 1hr to eat all this)
snack: 1 or 2 saltine crackers or mango (whatever is easy)
dinner: small slice of quiche/fritata, or 3/4 cup “casserole” type food
snack: fruit or yoghurt or icecream (1 scoop)

If I manage to eat all this without puking (dinner is hardest) then I’m doing great!  I am very fastly (hmmm don’t think that’s a word!) learing what I can and cannot eat… lots of cannots rearing their ugly head!!  My latest theme song is “i’m gonna be a super-model”… mainly cuz Ralf thinks that I’m now bulimic!  he has lots of smart comments like this morning… “so how was your egg… both times??”  oh ha ha ha… he won’t be laughing so hard when I’m super skinny!!! 😀

Until next time Fatty!

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How to remove the self-destruct button…

15/08/2009

((sigh)) if only I knew!

funkey_b1

As you have probably noticed the blogs have slowed… and so too has my weight loss.  ((sob))

I had my first fill (3ml) the other week and Dr Harsha said that I’d feel no restriction.  Well, all I can say is “no shit Sherlock!”  The only ‘restriction’ I have is that things tend to not want to go down.  I still get hungry; and am still able to manage to eat the naughties (ice cream, cookies, chocolate etc).  Now I knew that this would happen, but was kinda hoping that even though we all know that the band isn’t a miracle cure, it would help just a little bit.

It seems that not matter what I do diet-wise, I always manage to find the self-destruct button.  I sabotage myself for no real good reason — except that I love food waaaaaay too much.  Unfortunately the symbiotic relationship I have with food is that it doesn’t want to leave me… instead of being digested and flushed down the loo, it decides to take residence on my butt or elsewhere!

I guess I shouldn’t be so harsh on myself.  Even though I snack out at times, the quantities that I am eating is far less.  And in all honesty it is creeping up to that TOTM where chocolate becomes my staple food!

We went to HarborTown the other weekend.  I bought a shirt 2 sizes smaller than usual… as size 18!! Okay, so it’s still heffer-sized but it’s definitely a smaller heffer! and shoes also a size 39 instead of 40… so my feet were fat???? hmmmm… they didn’t feel like it, but they musta been.  I had noticed a couple of pairs of new-ish shoes were loose, but put it down to them stretching from wear.  And yes the rings are still falling off… even moreso now, had to actually put them on the middle finger (which feels weird) because they slipped off when I was walking around!

So I guess the weight is still steadily going down… but just not at such a fast rate.  I need to do optifast for another 2 weeks again… wonder if I could manage it??? hmmm… might just have to consider it….

Well… until next time Fatty….

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Ooooh… my first PB!

04/08/2009

As the title states… I have experienced my first case of true PB-ing (those of you know in the know – pb is a ‘productive burp’ — one that ‘follows through’!!!)

Anyways… happened yesterday afternoon whilst eating some bread… which decided it didn’t want to go any further.  A sip of water and back it all came! Ahhh the relief!  Thought it was because I was being piggy and eating too fast. But then, at dinner last night, was munching through my rice and yup… it didn’t want to go down.  And here’s me thinking that this band was doing bugger all lately!  guess it is still there and doing its job — just going a bit slowly is all!

So today was a little more careful.  Least I can now say that I have experienced a true PB … hehehe.

Until next time Fatty!

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Down, down, down…

01/08/2009

Well, it has been a while since my last blog… probably because life just goes on and nothing too exciting has happened!

The weight is slowly, but consistently, coming off.  Unfortunately because a few people know I have had the surgery when they comment on how good I’m looking I never know if it’s for real or just to help keep me motivated… know what I mean??

The loss has slowed down now that I am eating ‘normal’ people food.  And since I haven’t yet had a ‘fill’ of the band the quantity I’m eating is increasing also.  I am of course mindful of this and try to be good, but it’s not always all that easy!  I did a really stupid thing and had roast meat for dinner one night (plus a day of small grazing) and I was in pain for a good 2 / 3 days!  That lesson has been well learnt!  also the lesson of not having really fizzy drinks aswell.  They do tell you to avoid them, but until you find out for yourself just exactly why, the reasoning just doesn’t sink in!  basically it hurts… really really hurts!!!  I ended up going back to my liquid meals and it seemed to fix it all up nicely… ahhh… good ol’ Optifast — where would I be without it!!!

Thursday can’t get here soon enough!! Off to see Harsha for a ‘fill up’… feel like I’m off to the petrol station of old days… “Yes ma’am… how can we help”… “oh, just fill her up please!”… hehehe… I have a very twisted sense of humour I think!

Even though I see the scales move, and am noticing clothes starting to fall off me – literally – it doesn’t always seem that I’m doing all that well.  We all know about my wedding ring slipping off… and how I wear my engagement ring to keep on… well, the other day I was picking up all the kids Lego and my engagement ring decided it was his turn to do slippage and ended up in the box!  Now picture this… having to sift through mountains of Lego to find my engagement ring… good ol’ wedding ring was wanting to follow aswell, but stopped him before he jumped in also!  So I guess it shows a bit that I’ve lost some weight!  and the fact that most of my winter clothes are hanging off me and I look like a potatoe sack too… can’t weight for the warmer weather!  Still got my fat butt though… wish that’d slip off! hehehe

Oh well… that’s about it for now – told you nothing too exciting has happened!!

Until next time Fatty…

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Time flies…

09/07/2009

How time flies when you’re having fun — or not!  It’s been over a week since the surgery and I can say I’m starting to hang out for different food.  My soups have sustained me nicely, but variety is a big issue.  What is it with doctors and this whole 2 week bizzo anyways! why not 1 week??

Anyways… off to see Claire (dietician) on Tuesday so will see what she has to say for herself…. and what the scales have to say for me too!  I am keeping a record of my weightloss per my scales.  Purely for consistency sake.  They always weigh a bit less than the ones at the Docs but then I am often wearing different clothes, different times of day etc.  Whereas at home I’m weighing at the exact same time and with no clothes — hey, 200g in clothing means alot!!! 🙂   The graph is looking impressive now… 8kg down, can’t wait until that’s double digits!

A funny thing happened the other morning… my wedding ring fell off and I didn’t even feel it!  I knew it had to be in the house as we hadn’t been out in the last 24hrs – so that was a good thing.  But it took forever re-tracing my steps that morning as to where it might have gone.  We eventually found it 45 minutes later! and I was able to go to work… definitely wasn’t leaving home without it – bit superstitious that way!  Needless to say, the ring comes off at night and back on in the morning with my engagement ring… at this stage the two together make it safe enough that I shouldn’t lose them, or at least would feel if both of them were slipping.  Will eventually have to get it re-sized, but am trying to wait as long as possible.  Don’t really relish the idea of going to the jewellers every week or so getting it re-sized!

Until next time Fatty…

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Post-surgery

03/07/2009

Well, I survived the surgery… surprise surprise! The morning after the nurse came in and asked how I was doing… pain level… ZERO! no pains whatsoever, couldn’t feel the port, didn’t feel any different at all!  Was worried that they had to abort the surgery!  Anyways, turns out that I was still drugged up and hence no feeling of pain! believe me… the pain came… oh the pain!

Anyways… the nurses gave me some morphine for the pain as the other stuff wasn’t working.  Well, that placed me on happy planet quick smart! Man the world looks weird when you’re on that stuff! no wonder people get addicted to it.  All your other senses definitely are heightened – well… felt like mine were anyways – my psychic senses anyways!  So many times it felt like someone was stroking my hair or sitting near me to only open my eyes and find no one.  Very very weird feeling.  Anyways… don’t really remember much of Tuesday… is all a nice little hazy memory!

Today is Friday and I’ve been home for a day.  As usual the hospital wanted me to stay longer than I wanted – but there is nothing new there!

I have five small cuts in my abdomen which are healing nicely.  The pain is greater than I would have expected.  I think it is mainly gas that is trapped and burping is a real event!  Not only does it hurt, but the burps are huge!!  In hopsital the only food that they would allow was clear fluids – tepid chicken stock cubes morning, noon and night! absolutely gross. 

When I came home yesterday I treated myself to a nice, fresh fruit smoothy.  Not that I needed much.  It’s amazing… there is no restriction inserted yet – apart from the band itself – but I certainly can’t eat the way I normally would.  Half a cup of anything is enough to push me over the edge into pain-dom.  Last night I actually measured out how much soup I was having – made some home made tomato soup – and by the time I had eaten the 1/2 cup my stomach was totally full.  I think once I’m healed and can start exercising it will be interesting to see how fast the weight will start to drop off.  So far the scales are heading in the right direction…. down, down, down! woo hoo!!!

Until next time Fatty….

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The day of surgery

29/06/2009

SurgeryToday is the big day.  Last night was a terrible sleep.  It took me forever to get to sleep, kept thinking of the surgery and all the things that could go wrong… or how painful it will be afterwards!  Typical me.  Anyways… I’m to have my final meal today at 10am – and final cup of tea for the day ((sob))!  Last night I had my last meal… nothing too exciting but it wasn’t vegetables!  Made up my special rice mess… gees it was nice to eat something besides vegetables/soup/salad.  Just the flavour change was a joy!  I didn’t have a huge amount, I was very reserved – just glad to eat something different not having a huge portion.

My nerves are definitely jumping around…. guess that’s why it would be better to be first up in the day for surgery – less time to think about stuff and get nervous.  On the upside… I should be totally knocked out with drugs tonight and will get a good night sleep!  I hope!!

Sure am going to miss the boys.  As much as they annoy me with their antics sometimes, they are definitely the bright spark in my life.  Tom at present is sitting reading his ‘newspaper’ – the lastest junk mail magazine from BigW – the TOY CATALOGUE!  He is such a character.  And Luke is becoming such a mature little man.  I explained to him what was happening with me in hospital and he took it in his stride.  Asked mature questions, how the surgery is done, do I get cut open – think he was hoping I’d say yes – think all boys like some form of gore! 

Anyways… I’ll leave off here and gather my courage up…

Until next time Fatty